This just keeps getting better and better

Happy day! My leg hole has MRSA!

Listen here you nasty, sneaky little bacterium of doom -- you will NOT prevent my graduation. You might delay it (what else is new?), but you will not prevent it.

*rather loud string of colorful metaphors*

Enough is enough

I would love to have a few days to work on this dissertation. On Feb. 2 and 3 I had a horrible muscle spasm that nearly made me throw up. On the 3rd, my doctor was out of the office, so I saw his partner who gave me 10mg of Valium to take three times a day -- with my 5mg Percocet. So, needless to say, I have done nothing but fall asleep in my chair for days. And I still have pains. Not as bad, but still enough that I can't concentrate on shit.

Oh, and it turns out the Valium and antidepressants (I've been on Zoloft since the Wreck) don't generally mix well. I literally bawled my eyes out Friday night because I was missing brisket and potentially chocolate creme pie at a church Valentine's banquet. Yes, I hate Valentine's Day, but I love brisket and chocolate pie! Mom and Dad, bless 'em, bought me Woodie's BBQ (nummy ribs and pulled pork) and a chocolate pie on Saturday. And on Monday, my doc told me to double my Zoloft.

AND I have a minor surgery on my leg tomorrow because one of my Wreck scars has been seeping goo for months.

FML.

I just want to freaking graduate! It's been EIGHT EFFING YEARS!!!

Is it really about to happen?

I just completed my "Application for Degree", a first step to graduating in May.

Now I just need to:

-- complete my application for a Smithsonian Postdoctoral Fellowship by January 15th to work at the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center -- assuming Dr. Denise Breitburg sponsors my application and accepts me as a contributing member of her lab

-- analyze a buttload of data and complete a rough draft of my dissertation by February 6th so my advisor can look it over for me to work more on it

-- defend said dissertation on April 6th and pass my dissertation exam

I can do it. I'm a rock star. *bites nails*

EDIT: Dr. B is interested! Now, just ten days to pull together a research proposal.

Words to the wise

I received an email yesterday from Nova Publishing asking me if I would like to contribute a chapter to a book they're putting together called Environmental Degradation: Causes, Issues and Management.

*squees*

A book chapter offer? And I haven't defended yet?

*squees more*

I sent an email to my advisor to ask his thoughts. I just hope it doesn't take him a month to write me back because the abstract deadline is January 10.

*squee to the 10th power*

A peek from under the pile

I've been absent lately -- not just from posting but also from reading on my flist. I want to graduate in the spring, so I need to defend my dissertation no later than April 9, which in turn means I must turn in a draft to my advisor no later than February 9.

Actually, as of last night, those deadlines will get moved up as I purchased tickets for the Celtic Woman concert being given on April 12.

My motivation has been nil. Once I start writing, I move right along. Fortunately, I also have a grant application that wasn't funded that helps me write my introductions, but the materials and methods still need work. I have analyzed data for my 2008 experiments, so I should be done with that damn chapter, but I'm not. I'm so annoyed with myself.

Dad has an appointment in Wichita this afternoon, and Mom is driving him. Ordinarily I would ride along, but I am opting to stay home and take full advantage of approximately three hours of alone time to write.

C'mon D -- let's get this thing banged out.

*trumpets sound*

My FA review is finally in print, and my official PDF is saved! Please send me a SASE for your autographed copy. *grin*

AAARRRGGG!!!

The newest issue of Reviews in Fish Biology and Fisheries is out in print, and my article (which went online last October) is STILL NOT IN. What -- the -- hell -- is -- taking -- so -- long?

English editor is also in my repertoire

In December, I received a request from a professor in Germany for a copy of my review. He is in the final stages of writing a book on stress ecology, and he wanted my review to help him better understand FA. Quite an honor in and of itself. We've exchanged a couple of emails since then discussing various aspects of the paper, and he has provided me with a couple of papers that I hadn't seen as well as giving me a sneak peek at the intro of his book.

So yesterday I got an email from him asking if I could proofread his 400 page book for English grammar (he is not a native English speaker). In return, he will mention me in his foreword, pay me $2500 US, and give me a free copy of the book.

*passes out*

2010 in Review

As I lay in bed late last night (early this morning) listening to the fireworks and gunshots ringing in the new year, I was momentarily depressed as I realized I had spent more than half the year in rehab. I'd lost my entire summer and fall, and I'd spent my birthday and favorite holiday (Halloween) locked up. My poor, dear Moby suffered an early, untimely, and certainly undeserved demise at the hands of a careless young man.





My body, as though not experiencing enough physical challenges, was busted all to hell, resulting in me being pinned and plated and rodded to the point that I now have more hardware inside me than a Home Depot. I thought of all the rough things my friends have also gone through this year.

But suddenly I thought, "Wait. It's the first hour of a new year, and thinking of the negatives is not the way to start it." So instead, I started thinking about the good things that have happened in 2010, and suddenly I realized that even though so many bad things have happened, some pretty amazing things have happened, too.

March -- My cousin Josh and his wife Kyla welcomed the newest member of their family, Makynna Lynnlee. "Kenya" (a slip of one of her sisters' tongue) is Josh's fourth and Kyla's second.





March -- I was introduced to the group Great Big Sea ("from the tropical island of Newfoundland") via a concert my friend Lynlee took me to.








March -- My friends Jonikka and Erik were married on the Spring Equinox. I was the maid of honor.







April -- I received notification that I had been awarded one of the prestigious Ford Fellowships to help me complete my dissertation.

April? -- My friend Suzanne successfully completed her Ed.D. at UCSD.

May -- My friend Anita quit her job. You might think this would be a bad (maybe even a horrible) thing, but if you knew even half the s--- she had to put up with from her boss, you'd realize how fabulous this is.

June -- My cousin Amanda and her husband Jim welcomed the newest member of their family, Grace Ellen. She is Amanda's first and Jim's third.





July -- I got up in my chair for the first time in a month.

August -- I went with my folks to see Celtic Woman in concert. Fab. U. Lous.

August -- I celebrated my 39th birthday. Many people dread birthdays of this magnitude, but not me. According to the doctors in London who diagnosed me when I was 3, I wasn't supposed to live past 20. Every birthday since then has been a celebration.

October -- My fluctuating asymmetry review -- on which I'd been writing and rewriting for four years and had submitted to three journals -- was finally accepted for publication by Reviews in Fish Biology and Fisheries.

October -- I officially became eligible for the state program "Money Follows the Person" because I had been in rehab at least 90 days. This program automatically gets me paid attendant care at home when I finally escape this joint -- something I've been trying to get since I moved back to Kansas last December.

November -- My friend Marrus married her very own G.I. Joe (term used affectionately) in a "shotgun" wedding as Jay will be deployed very soon. You can see their custom cupcake topper and a picture of their gorgeous selves on Marrus's LJ.

November -- I got to go home for the first time in six months.

November -- My friend Amanda and her husband Roger welcomed the newest member of their family, Kaylynn Lee. Kay was a little early and experienced some respiratory issues, but to my knowledge she is now doing well. She is Amanda and Roger's first.

November -- My friend Anita successfully completed her masters thesis at WSU. She was so amazing.

December -- I was contacted by a masters student in the Philippines and a professor in Germany requesting copies of my review as their universities do not have subscriptions to that journal.



So now, my goals for the year. I really only have two major ones. First, I'm getting out of this rehab hell. Seven months is far too long for someone like me to be locked up, and it's time to go home. Second, I'm completing my Ph.D. It might take me until November, but you can put money on being able to call me Doctor Dawn no later than Christmas. Early notice to my New Orleans tribe -- you are hereby invited to my dissertation presentation and to my hooding at graduation, and we should start planning where to have my celebration. As to that last, there had better be fruity-rum drinks involved! To my biological family and to my Kansas pack -- anyone who wishes/is able to come to either the defense or the hooding is soooo welcome!


Finally, I'd like to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me over the last seven months. Your visits, calls, and emails have really helped keep me sane. I love you all, and I hope your 2011 is filled to overflowing with love, happiness, and blessings in your personal and professional endeavors.

I gots money!

The grant proposal I recently submitted to my university's College of Sciences requesting $2000 was approved for $1500. I'm very happy that I received something, even if it wasn't the entire amount.

Fortunately, I can write another proposal to the graduate school for more (the $2000 I requested from the CoS was for a subset of fish, not the whole lot), so keep your fingers crossed!

ROTD -- Return of the Dawn

I'm still at the rehab facility healing my broken bones (work in that area is progressing slowly, but it is progressing), but the corporate office had blocked a lot of networking/blogging sites, thus my absence. However, my laptop crashed Saturday, necessitating the need to purchase a new one. I picked out a sweet little number -- a Sony Vaio with 6 GB of RAM, a 640 GB hard drive, and amazing graphics with which to measure my fish heads -- and I decided to splurge on a mobile broadband device so I can do the Internet my way. I feel like I'm channeling my techno-geek brother.

In other news -- my most recent fishy paper has been accepted for publication! After four and a half years, at least a dozen revisions, and three journals, it's finally in! ::D does the happy dance:: It should be published electronically sometime this week, but I'm not sure when it will be in print.

How are all of you?

Here I am

Last Thursday (19 August), I had my second ortho checkup. My arm and left leg are healing well, but the plate in my right leg has shifted a half an inch because my bones are so weak. The orthopedist ordered a cessation of physical therapy on that leg and is trying to get me a bone stimulator to help with the healing on my legs. I'm also making a point of drinking a packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast every day for the extra vitamins and minerals -- maybe they will help the healing as well. I will remain in rehab until my bones are able to handle me using the two-piece sling I use for transfers at home (minimum another month).

Furthermore, we discovered earlier this week that my left foot has been sweating in its brace, and so I have a couple of spots in the beginning stages of skin breakdown (skin red but not broken open). I will be getting my ankle x-rayed at some point to see if I even need the brace or if the tib-fib fracture is healing as slowly as the breaks.

I actually got girly on Wednesday and bought a couple of skirts. ::shiver:: I don't think I've bought a skirt or a dress in almost 20 years. It's just that even shorts are a pain (literally AND figuratively) to put on over these leg braces.

OK, I think I may get back in bed soon and get to work on my manuscript revisions . . . IF I can keep my eyes open.

Received an email this morning

Dear Dawn M. Allenbach,

We have received the reports from our advisors on your manuscript, "Improving Fluctuating Asymmetry Studies Using Recommendations From a Fish Literature Review", which you submitted to Reviews in Fish Biology and Fisheries.

Based on the advice received, I feel that your manuscript could be reconsidered for publication should you be prepared to incorporate major revisions. When preparing your revised manuscript, you are asked to carefully consider the reviewer comments which are attached, and submit a list of responses to the comments.

. . .

Your revision is due on: 29 Jul 2010

We look forward to receiving your revised manuscript within eight weeks.

With kind regards,
J.N.
Editor in Chief


It's gonna be a lot of work, but . . .

::happy Luta dance::

Mom was right. Third time was the charm!

Ford Foundation Dissertation Fellowship

Back in November, you may remember that I applied for a Ford Foundation Dissertation Fellowship. This award is described on their website as follows:

Awards are made to individuals who, in the judgment of the review panels, have demonstrated superior academic achievement, are committed to a career in teaching and research at the college or university level, show promise of future achievement as scholars and teachers, and are well prepared to use diversity as a resource for enriching the education of all students.

Hundreds of Ph.D./Sc.D. students apply every year. Only 20 are awarded. I only just learned how astronomical my chances were.

I GOT ONE!!!

*happy dance*

I was awarded support for one year ($21,000), plus I am expected to attend a Ford Foundation leadership meeting. *falls out of wheelchair* I can't believe I got it.

One more time!

I just submitted my manuscript to Reviews in Fish Biology and Fisheries. This is the THIRD journal to whom I've submitted this tome, so here's hoping that "third time's a charm."

Good thoughts, please

With the final transcript being logged this morning and my third letter of reference being uploaded moments ago, my Ford Foundation Diversity Fellowship application is officially complete. Wish me luck in getting it this time. It's for a stipend of $21,000 for living expenses so I can actually be in NO to complete my final year.

Also, if you have an extra thought/prayer to spare, would you ask that the National Science Foundation have pity on me and resubmit my grant application to the "appropriate program"? We received an email on Christmas Eve morning that my grant proposal had been thrown out because it wasn't appropriate for the Division of Environmental Biology program.

My whole dissertation is about how environmental stressors alter the development and reproduction (both biological processes) of fish. Huh?

Looking ahead

A lot of people use this time of year to reflect on the year that has passed and try to divine what will come in the year ahead. Unless something truly crappy or truly outstanding happened, I rarely remember too much of what happened the previous year. The minutiae get all balled up until I cannot tease them loose from each other. I do not make up lists of praises and lists of rants and post them on tha Interwebz because they have meaning only to me, and I don't want to get into some heated discussion with someone who takes offense to this like or that dislike. I don't make huge, life-changing resolutions because something always happens to prevent their completion.

Every new year, what I promise to do are "little" things. I hold my head up and smile at strangers as we pass on the sidewalk or in the grocery store, even if they look at me like I sprouted a third eyeball in the middle of my forehead. I say thank you when someone helps me with something, even if s/he does it for me every day and knows I appreciate it, because very few people show gratitude for the little things. I try to do the best research I can. I explore my personal spirituality and endeavor to remain patient with those of a more rigid mindset. I make attempts at creativity in a variety of forms such as writing fiction, making soap, making mosaics, or cross-stitching. Soon I'm going to attempt to make my own portable medicine wheel. I try to read widely. I try to read something or someone previously unknown to me. I try to read as often as I can. Following the example of a friend, I will endeavor to keep a list of everything I read in 2010 -- both books for fun and research materials (the latter for my own edification) -- and I will attempt to write mini-reviews of the books in the interest of those who might want to also read something I've read.

So, in that vein, I am off to drink some tea (green tea with jasmine and passionfruit) in an attempt to soothe my sore throat, then I shall return to the further adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

I hope your year is everything you want it to be.

Thank you for being my friend and helping me grow.

And that's that

I just finished making my four slide Powerpoint presentation for statistics. After I do the five minute presentation on Tuesday, I will be mostly done for the semester. Both of my girls (undergrad assisants) who helped me this semester with all the physical stuff I am unable to do have asked to continue as my minions next semester, and that is a HUGE relief to me. They are both intelligent, driven, and extremely well self-directed, so I know my fishies will be safe next semester while I'm gone. We're going to practice photographing fins this week so they know EXACTLY how I want it done, then at the beginning of next semester they will photograph all the fins and send me the pictures to play with.

On the preparing to go home front, I went through all of my clothes at the beginning of the month and donated a bunch of stuff to the athletic department's clothing drive for a local mission. Over the last two nights, Tracie has helped me go through the closet by my bed, and I've gotten rid of about half the stuff I had stored in there. I still need to go through the kitchen closet (candles, incense, herbs, winter outerwear) and the big dresser (a junk drawer, a Reba drawer, and a linen drawer). Then the BOOKS. That's going to be crazy, my friends. I'm predicting one box of clothes and at least three of books. Think I'm joking? Ask Anita, Jonikka, or my parents about the clothing-to-book box ratio when I moved out of my Wichita apartment to move here. Tuesday is "talk with your advisor" day, Wednesday will find Moby getting two new shoes and an oil change, and Mom flies in Thursday afternoon. We have tentative plans to go eat with two of my friends and go have dinner made for us at other friends' house at some point over the weekend. Also over the weekend, we'll be hauling some of my stuff (bookshelf, table, TV, DVD player, dishes, small kitchen appliances) to Tracie's house in NO East for storage until I come back. Mom and I plan to leave on Monday, to arrive home on Tuesday.

OK, so I'm going to go try to read Twilight now. I promised a friend almost a year ago that I'd read it, and I still haven't gotten up the nerve. Let's face it, the descriptions of plot I've heard have nearly made my brain cramp. I'll try to keep an open mind, but at the first sign of nausea or neuron suicidal behavior, I'm done. There are too many books in the world to waste time on sparkly, emo vamps. Wait -- open mind, open mind.

What is this "relax" of which you speak?

The Ford Foundation Diversity Fellowship was submitted on 7 Nov. -- two days ahead of schedule.

The poster for the SETAC meeting was emailed to Kinko's on 18 Nov. and finished on 19 Nov. -- it is bright, shiny, all KINDS of sexy in its 40" x 56" glory, and ready to be shown off on Sunday. Can't wait to see the looks on the faces of all those stuffed suits when they realize the chick in the power wheelchair with the dog is the primary author.

The NSF DDIG grant was submitted today -- a whopping hour and a half ahead of the deadline.

All I have left to do school-wise before moving home is make a 5-minute PowerPoint describing some of my data and what statistical methods I used to analyze them, with my presentation being given on 1 Dec. -- maybe I'll get around to it on Monday.

Tomorrow is dedicated to reading a big chunk of The Sweet Far Thing, playing games at MSN Games, a possible nap in my chair, and maybe "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" on USA.

Relaxing. Let's see if I remember what that is.

The worst thing . . .

. . . about science is the writing. I loathe the writing even more than figuring out how to run the stats. I dislike it mainly because between how much of it I'm having to do right now and all the measuring of fish heads I'm doing at the same time, my already weak hand and wrist muscles are seriously fatigued. It's times like this when I think having voice recognition software would be a good thing.