The Wienie Wagon gets TOSSED!!!

This afternoon, my mom drove me into town for my physical therapy appointment at the hospital. I've been going there twice a week since I got home to stretch the muscles in my lower back and relieve some of the pain I'm experiencing from squished spinal nerves (the result of almost 37 years of sitting in a wheelchair).

First, let me give you a picture of my ride while I'm home. Some of you know the Wienie Wagon well (only TOO well, you might say), but for those of you who don't: it's a 1974 extended Dodge Maxivan with a turtle top that's painted like an ambulance (all white with a broad orange stripe down the side) because that's what it was for 20+ years before my brother bought it for $800. My dad stripped it of the extra lights and the siren and replaced the backwards-reading "AMBULANCE" sign on the turtle top's front with a new sign which reads, "WIENIE WAGON" (wienie being one of my brother's familial nicknames). It still contains cabinets down one side for storage (complete with non-operating switches for non-existent oxygen), ceiling hooks for hanging I.V. bags, and a jumpseat in the back which still has its seatbelt.

So, the town we drove to is one of those smallish towns which are "big" for Kansas, and very rarely do people bother rolling up the windows or locking the doors on certain vehicles while they go into the grocery store, vet, or P.T. appointment (at the hospital). I mean, who thinks they're getting very far with a 3/4 ton van with a hydraulic wheelchair lift in the side and a "WIENIE WAGON" sign on the turtle top -- especially when the driver has turned off the batteries?

So, we came out after P.T., and Mom opened the side doors to let down the lift. We noticed that the battery charger which is normally stored in a box at the back was sitting just behind the front seats where I park my wheelchair. I got in the van, and as Mom stowed my transfer lift in the back, I noticed all kinds of things in new places -- a power steering fluid bottle that had been under the seat was also where I park, the horse dewormers were lying in different positions, and a tissue box which had been under the seat was on the console. I pointed out all this to Mom when she climbed into the driver's seat along with a bunch of trash out of its container lying between the seats. She started putting things back to rights, and that's when she noticed something missing.

A small brown prescription bottle.

The sneaky punks made off with . . .








THE DOG DEWORMER!!!

::falls out of wheelchair laughing::

You know SOMEWHERE in McPherson somebody is wondering why s/he's not high right now -- because you KNOW they were thinking, "Ambulance. Windows down. Let's get their good stuff!"